Domestic violence in our communities

It’s a lovely day and the sun is out all day and the weather is dry, as people in the local community are dressed up in their finest clothes to celebrate the traditional marriage of one of their daughters, The Bride is well dressed and looking beautiful on her wedding day, surrounded by friends and family members, singing songs of praise to God. The Groom is not left out in the action as he’s committee of friends are all dressed to match and looking handsome and ready to face the new challenge of married life. 6 months later after all the funfare and enjoyment the bride runs back to her family house, bettered and bruised, nursing Internal and external injuries. She has just survived the beating of her life by her husband, who swore to protect and support her in front of all the community members and their families. Domestic Violence is fast becoming a norm in our communities and societies at large. We need to tackle this menace before it consumes us. People have to be held accountable for their actions and Community Paralegals need to double their efforts in fighting Domestic Violence, marriage is not a death trap so if it’s not working out, then let’s separate and go our separate ways instead of resulting to violence and inhumane treatment of our partners in the name of husband and wife.

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Good info. Timothy, I really agree with you

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Domestic violence has become a big challenge in our communities but according to my study and my resarch I have done within my and neighboring communities I realized that most people have not married their love instead they marry Life partners and the worst thing they choose basing short time values of a woman

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Timothy you have said nothing but the truth, domestic violence is slowly becoming the other of the day. Lately people get into marriage for the sake of being married, when the reality of marriage life hits in, sometimes both or one of the party lack the courage to handle it. Those going into marriage must desist from day dreaming especially in these times of economic changes, as sometimes the pressures of not meeting with daily lives leads to uncontrollable aggressive behaviors. Nevertheless, persons found guilty of domestic violence irrespective of gender should be meant to face the law, rather than getting a soft massaged.

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Michael I think our community and society is loosing the value of our cultural heritage and even the religious institutions are busy preaching about prosperity and wealth, that we forget the simple instructions of the Bible and the that teaching us about loving your wife as Jesus Christ loved the church that he gave his life for it. There used to be marriage courses that teaches about compactibility and communication and self control in times of anger and frustrations. Couples are supposed to spend 3 months in class learning about each other and in the end if he or she feels that she can’t handle her partner. Then the relationship is called off and they can find someone new to try again. I believe if we can go back to the basics and the simple instructions laid down in the Bible and both partners put God first in their union, then we can start getting it right and celebrate 50yrs of married life together as husband and wife.

Yes if we can go back to the BIBLE teaching and we put GOD first, then we shall be proud of solid, intact marriages until GOD says so. Now heavy problem we have created is to “simplify the teaching of the BIBLE and amplify gender imbalances which are imbedded in old and long held traditions” believe me it is a difficult tusk to change, it requires shifting peoples mindsets, behaviors, attitudes and practices.

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John, thanks for your response, nothing is impossible and the fact that western culture is taken over the African culture in our youths and younger generation, show’s things are not as it used to be, let’s not forget our heritage as a people and push out the negative vice’s that threaten to separate us

Power relations is the source of gender based violence. Boys are taught that they are superior to girls and girls are taught that they are inferior to boys and must over respect males.In churches a bible teaches that a man is the head of the house and wife is the helper of the man.So a man can do anything to a wife because he’s the man of the house whereas the wife must submit to his man.She has no rights. Our Constitution Section 9 RIGHT TO EQUALITY means all of us males and females are equal,nobody is superior to the other. People must be educated about Constitution and human rights. When you don’t respect Constitution,you are breaking the law,and that means you are a criminal anc belongs in jail

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This is absolutely correct. This is more prevalent in our traditional hard to reach settings (rural communities). In settings like such, people normally have little or no correct information about their human rights. As a result they are less knowledgeable, with no confidence to fight for them.

Reaching out to this types of vulnerable group with education and awareness raising message for both boys and girls is proving to change the dynamics in their mentality before growing or getting marriage.

These are some of the roles we are playing in hard to reach rural communities in Sierra Leone. Young Africans Community Empowerment Initiative, Sierra Leon (YACEI-SL), is a registered youth-led community based organization, founded by young people. We engage young people in rural and hard to reach communities, educate them, and raise awareness on the national legal polices to fight for their rights.

We do this by breaking down some of key legal terms (like; legal laws/policies, human rights, gender, equality, equity, crime, harm, harassment, exploitation, and sexual abuse etc) in their local dialects for better understanding. Using this correct medium of communication paves total participation with ease by asking questions and providing the correct answers that can change their thoughts.

Warm Greetings

You are doing a great job,rural people are always forgotten as if they don’t matter but come voting time,every politician is targeting them because they are clueless.

Keep up the good work.

Regards Sonwabo Sanga

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Sonwabo Sanga I do agree with you partly, yes respect for our constitutions and the equality between men and women and that’s what I agree with you. But the Bible says love your wife’s as Christ loved the church, and if you love your partner that much, I don’t think you’ll want to hurt someone you truly love, it’s the absence of love and the quest for material possession and pride that leads to domestic violence in relationships and not the word of God that is sacred.

Greetings Mr Timothy Timinipre Ikidi

Gender Based Violence is about power relations whereby one gender is characterised as Superior (men) and women are inferior and should be under the control of males and must be submissive to men and must be over respectful to me. Bible is clear when it says Christ is the head of the Church … then says men are the heads in their households that women must be submissive to men … My question then is what is the meaning of that statement. Simple terms :Church’s head= Christ Men must respect (inferior)

Household head =Men Women must respect( inferior )

Therefore Men is Superior to Females according to the Bible.

I will quote you the correct scripture reading that confirms the abovementioned .

Thank you for the debate,I’m sure my bible knowledge will definitely improve.

Regards Sonwabo Sanga

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Thank you Timothy for this debate. It is the same Bible saying we are all equal in the eyes of the Lord. And the research says: “the sense of power and entitlement that men feel which is perpetuated through a complex set of customs and traditions, manifests itself in gender violence. Men use their musculinity to control women’s ability to express themselves, resorting not only to physical and sexual violence, but also to depriving them of access to resources.” What is your take Sowana?

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I would like to emphasize that you have a point there but domestic violence also happens to men who became victims to their wife’s. Wher she’s earning more than the husband and maybe doing a business that brings in good money for her and the respect for her husband died and she starts treating him like a servant and a looser. Some women who are physically stronger than their husbands actually beat up their husbands at home and sometimes in public. Others use their tongue to condemn their husbands and emotionally abuse them to the state of them becoming alcoholics and loosing all decency cuz of a troublesome wife and life partner. So we should be able to look at both sides of the coin, when we discuss domestic violence in relationships and in our communities and societies at large.

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Greetings John Masuwa

The bible debate is very tricky in the sense that translating to other languages tend to change the context it meant originally,like the case of Eve being the helper in Genesis.Some interpret “helper” as being superior because without you nothing can be achieved,meaning they are interdependent on each other,meaning they are equal.

I think preachers must be sensitive towards gender based violence and promote gender equality when preaching because debating this gender equality or not in a bible ,preachers interpret it differently.

Is that fair enough?

Regards Sonwabo Sanga

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Thank you freinds, greetings, both of you Timothy and Sanga you are very right in that context and i agree with you, but how do we achieve this global fight of gender equality? Bearing in mind that globally violence against women has more volume than men, or because the bible has spoken, yes some preachers contradict the bible by failing to explain quotes from the bible. I am not an expert in this field, but the bible is difficult to understand and interprate correctly. As soldiers in the fight of gender equality, which way to go? More Regards

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Greetings John Masuwa

We have to educate and raise kids as equals to end the one gender superiority over the other so that they can grow knowing that they are equals and that law is very tough on perpetrators of gender based violence and femicide.

Traditional leaders who still pursue this notion that men are heads of households need to be educated because they are in contradiction with our Constitution which promotes EQUALITY according to section 9 of our Constitution in South Africa.

So in short people must be educated about our Constitution and human rights that if they continue to violate other people’s rights they are breaking the law and that means they are criminals and criminals belong in jail.

Educate and doing awareness campaigns is the solution to this pendamic of violence against women.

Regards Sonwabo Sanga

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Thank you Sanga, you have done it, i can now rest. Stay safe

John thanks and happy weekend, I think we’re all the right track and what we need to do is persistence and non stop advocacy for gender equality and the world will definitely change it’s old ways of doing things and accept the change that is need so much to make our world a better place for both men and women living in harmony and respect for each other

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Thank you Timothy, this is what it should be forever. Stay Safe and blessed.

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